NOTE - These articles are based on the insights of the author Serge Kahili King. I am not a Hawaiian myself and no expert in the teachings of Hawaiian spirituality. There is some controversy concerning the works of Serge Kahili King and his use of Hawaiian terminology. For more see this Wikipedia article. Even if his teaching does not reflect true Hawaiian heritage I still found his teachings insightful - that‘s why I kept these pages on my site for your own discretionary reading.
This is a series of 7 articles based around the 7 principles of life in the Hawaiian Huna tradition.
Huna is a Hawaiian term for “Secret”. But its practical application makes it a universal method for growth and achievement that is far from being psycho-babble. This series discusses the underlying 7 principles of Huna.The 7 fundamental principles of Huna are:
IKE – The world is what you think it is
KALA – There are no limits, everything is possible
MAKIA – Energy flows where attention goes
MANAWA – Now is the moment of power
ALOHA – To love is to be happy with
MANA – All power comes from within
PONO – Effectiveness is the measure of truth
This is the 5th article in this series following my last 4 articles about the Huna principles of IKE – “The world is what you think it is”, KALA – "There are no limits, everything is possible", MAKIA – "Energy flows where attention goes", MANAWA - "Now is the moment of power". Be sure to read these articles since I might refer to them. Also, it is good to grasp the content of those principles for understanding principle 5 – ALOAH – To love is to be happy with.
Done that? Okay, let’s jump into it …
5. ALOHA - To Love Is To Be Happy With
Love is a word people often have problems with because it is used in so many different ways. It could indicate:
deep emotional feelings (I love you)
emotional connection (I love my parents)
a sense of spiritual security (God loves me)
pleasure & craving (I love that chocolate)
adoration (I love my comic heroes)
sexual passion (I want to make love to you)
an intention (I would love to do that)
a controlling mechanism (If you love me, then you do that ...)
and so much more
Sometimes the side effects of love, described in novels or songs, remind us of vitamin deficiency or acute illnesses (lack of sleep, loss of appetite, heart palpitations, dizziness, fever, colds, sudden outbreaks of transpiration, etc.)
With Huna however, the definition of love is very clear. The Hawaiian word for love is Aloha. It is a compound of "alo" which means "being together, sharing and experience in the here and now" and "oha" which means "sympathy, joy".
Therefore the meaning of love or aloha is "experiencing joy with ...".
With this definition, love exists whenever you are experiencing joy with the object of your love.
For Huna being happy comes from love, while being unhappy comes from fear, anger, and despair.
Love doesn't make your palms sweaty - that's fear.
Love doesn't hurt you (despite a classic Nazareth song) - anger does.
Love gives you a feeling of joy and happiness, and the intensity of those feelings correlate to the intensity and depth of your love.
Loving deeply means experiencing a strong connection. Depth and clarity of a connection grow in the same amount that you are able to release fear, anger, and despair.
Corollary: Loves Grows When Your Judging Diminishes
Whenever there is an increase in fear, anger or doubt there is also an increase in our willingness to judge or criticize. These are the root causes of separation that will lead to a decline in love.
What Kills Every Relationship?
Take a look back at your failed relationships - didn't it always start with criticizing and judging each other?
It doesn't matter whether it was something as banal as someone not bringing the waste outside or being cheated on. We experience fear, worry, anger or doubt in a relationship and from there we judge or criticize the behavior. And unless we are able to forgive and overcome this criticizing or judging mindset, we aren't able to bring love back into our life and our relationship will surely die sooner or later.
The Emotional Bank Account
I often use the analogy of an emotional bank account. You can either withdraw or deposit into it. For a relationship, each form of criticizing or judging is a huge withdrawal while praise and acknowledgment are deposits.
Both - praise and acknowledgment - are an act of love, of being happy with - your partner & your current situation. Now that doesn't mean that there should not be change, but if you follow principle 3 - MAKIA – "Energy flows where attention goes", then you should understand, that focusing your attention on the good things in your relationship and your life through praise and acknowledgment will attract even better things, while focusing on the bad things through judging or criticizing will attract even more failures, misunderstandings, and problems.
Isn't that what happens when relationships are new? They always start out as fun and joy. Simply because we focus on the things we like in each other. But there comes a time where we start to realize that we didn't like everything in our partner. When we don't balance this tendency through a conscious focusing on the good things through praise and acknowledgment, a vicious cycle of doubt and critique readiness will crash our relationships.
The Danger Of Positive Critique
And even if you believe in giving positive criticism I would highly advise you to take a look at the consequences of this within yourself and your partner - every critique has the tendency to increase the likelihood of this unwanted behavior to grow. Again it is simply the principle 3 - MAKIA – "Energy flows where attention goes" that is at work here.
Try to substitute even positive criticism through praise and acknowledgment of the good things. Focus on what you want and not on what you don't want. Although open spoken praise and acknowledgment are favorable, telepathic (i.e. in your mind) praise and approval is also a good way to start.
Corollary: Everything Is Alive, Aware and Answers
Huna doesn't restrict the definition of life to humans, animals, and plants. Although life might be harder to grasp in things as slow as a rock or as fast as a light beam, for a Huna shaman these are all different manifestations of life.
Based on principle 2 - KALA – "There are no limits, everything is possible" the source of all that is must be aware of itself and therefore everything that is must be aware of itself and therefore receptive to what is happening in its vicinity.
Why Self-Criticism Makes You Weaker
Because the Huna shaman believes in everything being alive, aware and receptive he tries to be respectful towards everything. Now you might think of this being a bit absurd, but it has some very practical applications.
Your subconscious (in Huna called Ku) is alive, aware and answers as well. If you criticize yourself, your Ku feels attacked and tries to defend itself. It does this through the body (tightening muscles, producing stress hormones, etc.). This will diminish your awareness because your whole body/mind system is focused on attack/defense. While this might be a good response if you get physically attacked by a tiger or some other person, prolonged self-critique will make this state chronic and therewith weakens you, increasing chances of you getting ill or injured.
Increasing Self-esteem through acknowledgment of your own good parts and loving yourself as you are however will lead to a relaxation of your body (lowered tightness of your muscles and reducing the level of stress hormones within your body); increase of awareness, energy, and power. You will remember your abilities better and will feel good about yourself, other people and life in general.
Why Respect Towards Everything Makes You Stronger
If you follow principle 1. IKE – "The world is what you think it is", you will realize that your Ku (subconscious) doesn't separate between yourself and your outer world - people, things or situations - it is all part of your current dream in Huna.
Therefore your Ku will take every critique as a personal attack. That means it doesn't matter whether you are blaming or criticizing yourself, another person, your car, your government or the weather. Your Ku will always react with an increase in tension and stress. It will always kick in the Attack/Defense mode and that will always weaken you in the long run.
If you praise or acknowledge yourself, another person, your car, your government (even if you didn't vote for them) or the weather then your Ku will make your body relax and become stronger.
I often found in my medical praxis that people who criticize a lot have a tendency to form serious illness patterns that become more and more intense up to building cancer. Some practitioners even say that cancer is a symptom of a serious lack of love in your life.
Why Praising Increases The Likelihood Of Change
Besides changing your own body through praise and acknowledgment you also increase the likelihood of change not only in other people of yourself but also in other things or situations. Principle 3. MAKIA – "Energy flows where attention goes" states that whatever you focus on will grow. Therefore focusing on the problem through critique will make the problem stronger, while focusing on the good things or the wanted change will make these grow.
As a computer consultant, I often found that people who regularly curse their computers have far more problems with their systems than those who even give them nicknames and develop a great relationship with them. Now, this is not a scientific prove but try this for yourself for 30 days with your computer, your car or any other object and you might be surprised. Oh by the way although you might send love to your computer I would still make backups :-)
What To Do When You Get Attacked Or Criticize?
Our initial reaction is to fight back. But again this will lead to an increase of the problem. What a Huna shaman does to neutralize a cursing is praising himself as well as the attacker.
Praise or acknowledge whatever is good about the person and/or the situation. Another great method for this is blessing - see "The Power of Blessings or 5 Seconds for Peace, Love and Happines" You might use this either aloud or in your mind. Try this for the next 30 days with your boss or whatever person you have a problem with and notice the change.
Experience The Power Of ALOHA
This is an easy 1-minute exercise for experiencing the power of Aloha in your life.
Close your eyes - sit still and take a deep breath.
Now praise and acknowledge for at least one minute everything that is good within you - every good attitude, habit, quality.
If you run out of good things to remember, then repeat the ones you already had; if you continue to do this exercise you will become aware of more good things within you.
If negative thoughts come to your mind, simply ignore them and continue to praise & acknowledge.
You are allowed to continue this exercise after 1 minute
After you've finished recognize how you feel
Then repeat the same exercise for at least another minute, but this time praise and acknowledge everything that is good within other people that come to your mind.
Take a 3rd turn and this time praise and acknowledge everything that is good in your life - your house, your job, your computer, your car, etc.
Once you are finished take a deep breath and again notice the difference in your feelings.
WARNING - This exercise can become highly addictive. If you love your bad mood or bad situation you might not do this :-)
So Aloha - Love and Be Happy With ...
