It has been hailed mans greatest teacher and most important for the development of our species over millions of years. Yet, we despise its existence whenever it comes to us. Fear - this dark shadow that seems to follow us wherever we go. This bane of humanity that stops us from achieving our dreams, goals, and ambitions.
But is that really true? Is fear what stops us and thwarts our efforts to become successful?
Fear is not a bane to but an enabler of human development
According to evolutionists, our species' survival is the result of countless steps we as humans took to meet our fears.
So, in general, fear has never stopped us from developing but instead enabled us to grow beyond our imagination. We need fear to move forward in our development.
Looking at its evolutionary roots fears primary function is to save us from harm. It should alarm us of potential dangers so we can prepare or avoid it. It also is a powerful motivator allowing us to pursue and attain our goals.
All emotions (including fear) want to set us in motion to do certain things.
The meaning of the word fear
To get a clearer picture of fear, let's take a look at the etymology of the word (via Etymonline.com - highlights by me).
[fear (n.)] Middle English fere, from Old English fær "calamity, sudden danger, peril, sudden attack," from Proto-Germanic feraz "danger" (source also of Old Saxon far "ambush," Old Norse far "harm, distress, deception," Dutch gevaar, German Gefahr "danger"), from PIE pēr-, a lengthened form of the verbal root *per- (3) "to try, risk."
So fear means danger - especially of an ambush. Note the included meaning of deception. Fear contains something hidden, something we sense but could not clearly see, like an ambush. That's why we often have problems with handling fear. We feel the danger, but cannot see it clearly and thus don't know how to tackle it.
Fear-Triggers
Fear gets activated by a trigger-chain, consisting of two triggers. The first (external) trigger comes through our senses (something we see, hear, smell). It then activates the second (internal) trigger - a memory that we associate with the first trigger.
And although nowadays it isn't the danger of physical extinction in the form of a wild beast in the jungle which creates fear in our hearts, there are many other forms of fear-triggers in even the most developed society. Still, the response to those triggers often is the same as being hunted by lions thousands of years ago.
And the current pandemic has only aggravated these triggers and created totally new triggers for most of us.
Managing Fear
"Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up" ― Veronica Roth, Divergent
Since fear itself is a useful reaction, all we need to do is manage it and use it correctly.
Very often, we overshoot in our estimation of the possible danger. A standard test becomes a life and death scenario. A call from the boss lets our fight-or-flight mechanism react in the same way as if we had spotted a tiger in the grass before us.
"The problem of the management of anxiety is that of reducing anxiety to normal levels, and then to use this normal anxiety as stimulation to increase one's awareness, vigilance, zest for living." - Rollo May
So we must allow us to take a step back, take a deep breath, and assess the real consequences of what we are fearing.
Once we know the real level of the implied danger, we can then use this anxiety/fear to stimulate us with awareness, vigilance, and zest.
"Bran thought about it. 'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?' 'That is the only time a man can be brave,' his father told him." ― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones
Fear is only temporary
It also helps to realize that all emotions (including fear) are volatile. They will come to you, and they will leave you. This is good news. So even if you experience fear today, tomorrow it may be gone or be less intense.
Don't be afraid of fear itself. See it as a subconscious way of informing you that you should take a hard look at what you are about to do. It doesn't necessarily mean that you shouldn't do what is ahead of you, but you should acknowledge that you are afraid of what might happen if you do what you are about to do. You could then take a step back and analyze what this emotion wants you to do - since all emotions wish to set you in motion.
Let this sentence be the mantra to guide you: What does this fear want to teach me?
And for some practical steps you could do one of Tim Ferris great exercises - Fear-Setting. Follow the link to his great TED talk and do the work.
Photo by Pixabay from Pexels
