It was a head to head race. Who would win – the chimpanzees or me. After I crossed the finish line, I made it. I beat the chimpanzees, but I knew there was still no reason for feeling victorious.
I was blown away by my lack of some basic knowledge about human socio-economics. I just started to read Hans Roslings' excellent book "Factfulness".
“How are you these days?”, a friend asked me recently.
This is the only relevant question that remains these days because of Covid-19. The usual reply came to my lips, but that's where it stopped.
I have many problems in my life, but my lips don't know that. They always smile."- Charles Chaplin
Throughout my years, I have learned many techniques that incorporate relaxation as the most important first step on that all other methods are based upon. May it be Meditation, Contemplation, Visualization, Silva Mind Control, Psycho-Cybernetics, Hypnosis, Self-Hypnosis, Progressive Muscle Relaxation, Autogenic Training, or you name it.
Have You Noticed? I Was Out AND There Is Life After Blog-Death.If you’re an old fellow to UYM you might have noticed that I have been away for a while (well it has been over a year). Most people will tell you that such a blog is virtually death. But I found out that there is life after death and even during death - read on. Find out why I rather preferred a painful blog-death than becoming a regurgitating cow.
This is a guest post written by Barrie Davenport, a life and career coach and founder of Live Bold and Bloom, a blog about fearless living.
"Problems in relationships occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person. " ~Wayne Dyer
Our love relationships can bring out the child in us. Not just childish behaviors, although they bring out plenty of those too. I'm talking about the real child we once were umpteen years ago when we lived at home with parents and siblings and two cats in the yard. Or whatever your experience happened to be.
I have many problems in my life, but my lips don't know that. They always smile."- Charles Chaplin
Throughout my years, I have learned many techniques that incorporate relaxation as the most important first step on that all other methods are based upon. May it be Meditation, Contemplation, Visualization, Silva Mind Control, Psycho-Cybernetics, Hypnosis, Self-Hypnosis, Progressive Muscle Relaxation, Autogenic Training, or you name it.
If there is one thing that I learned from my life in general and all my spiritual revelations than it is that forgiving is not something that needs to happen between you and a God (let’s just assume that this one's automatic and a done deal no matter what spiritual concept you are following) - but it needs to happen within yourself.
I always liked the quote of Heinrich Heine:
“Of course God will forgive me; that's His job.“
But what is in the nature of God and therewith easy for him to do is mostly very hard for ourselves.
We all are carrying a heavy load of things we cannot forgive ourselves and/or things we beat ourselves up on a regular basis for being the way we don't want ourselves to be.
This refers to the importance of belief. Whatever you believe in, you will manifest. If you believe the world is a place full of struggle and hardship, then surely hardship and struggle will come your way. If you believe that the world is a great place for adventure and happiness, that you will surely experience much more of those than the person believing in the world of struggle.
One of my teachers told me an easy way to bring peace within your soul as well as increase the level of peace, joy, and happiness within the people you get in contact with. And all it takes is about 5 seconds.
All he did, wherever he went and with whomever, he got in contact with, was to bless that person in his mind.
How often do you use the words "May you be blessed" or the short version "Bless you" every day? And how often is it just an automatic response if someone sneezes? But like with all words, if you don't connect any feeling with those words, they lose their power and turn into empty phrases robbed of their potential power.
So let's inject the power back into this cliché phrase.
Let's define the word "to bless" upfront. Some of my readers already know that one of my most beloved resources for this is the Online Etymology Dictionary. They define "to bless" as:
bless: O.E. bletsian, bledsian, Northumbrian bloedsian "to consecrate, make holy," from P.Gmc. *blothisojan "mark with blood," from *blotham "blood" (see blood).Originally a blood sprinkling on pagan altars. This word was chosen in O.E. bibles to translate L. benedicere and Gk. eulogein, both of which have a ground sense of "to speak well of, to praise," but were used in Scripture to translate Heb. brk "to bend (the knee), worship, praise, invoke blessings."Meaning shifted in late O.E. toward "to confer happiness, well-being," by resemblance to unrelated bliss. No cognates in other languages.
While I definitely don't want you to sprinkle blood over other people (especially not every time they sneeze), giving praise and wishing lots of blessings for other people is a good way to start. But the old idea behind sprinkling someone with blood is to awaken someone and therefore, giving him energy. Blood is often a symbol for the life force or universal, godly energy that we were created from.
Absolutely not. All you need to trust in is the universal law, that whatever you sow you will reap or that we are all connected. It doesn't matter whether you believe in God, Allah, Buddha, Mother Earth, the Morphogenetic Field or anything at all - even if you're an atheist, you can watch this as a scientific experiment and test this for some days and then draw your own conclusions.
It's easy but that shouldn't stop you from applying it, because it is one of the most enlightening and powerful experiences you might have for a long time.
Just send a "May you be blessed", "God bless you", or something similar to every person you meet or even see while you walk by them
You can increase the power by swiftly visualizing the person being showered by a fountain of joy, happiness, and luck- or send them some thoughts of joy, love, and harmony and cover them in white light.
You don't have to create a full-blown 3D scenario in your head - it's more important to get the feeling of joy, happiness, harmony, and love being sent to the other person. Spend only 5 to 10 seconds on it. That is enough.
Short answer - Everyone.
You should bless:
your loved ones
your boss
all people serving you throughout the day
the tramp down the corner
the jerk
the annoying client
and especially all the people giving you a hard time
It is essential that you won't exclude anyone from it to experience its power.
As long as you are excluding some people from it, you are not in harmony with the universe, since you try to bargain with it. Yes, you are trying to bargain with the universe and with people by stating, that you'll only send your blessings to the people who will do you good. A true blessing comes from the same source as true love. True love won't care about what it gets in return; it just gives itself without calculation. Any type of bargaining comes from a deep-seated fear of scarcity. If you feel this one within you - go read my article about the fear of scarcity.
There isn't much more to say about it - just go out for one day and give it a try. Send a mental blessing to all people that you'll meet throughout the day - and you will see that this day will soon turn into pure magic.
It is important to understand that you don't expect anything in return. This would again be bargaining with the universe. This bargaining comes from a scarcity mindset. You want your blessings to come from a richness mindset, where you already know, that you are blessed to such an extent, that you could give away more and more and your own blessings wouldn't diminish through it, but they would be increased by the universe. Even the bible knew about this universal law
"Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him." Mark. 4:25
The more you'll send blessings to other people the more you will experience that fountain of joy, happiness, and luck in your own life.
Do you sometimes feel as if a heavy weight is on your shoulder as if a giant burden is pushing you down? Do you sometimes lie awake at night, still repeating inner conflicts and thoughts about the pressing problems in your life?Don't worry, you are not alone with that. This is a phase that every human being needs to get through. And it is also the reason, why we are not able to continue our development because as long as we keep this burden of sorrow and fears on our shoulders and are not able to release it, we will feel stuck and frustrated.
But there is a solution to this dilemma, that is known for over 2,000 years, yet so little used today
It's time to reveal it once again, NOW!
What are the things we feel sorry about? What are the things we will feel sorry on our deathbed?
Hint: With a 99.9% probability it will not be the things we did, but the things we didn't do, that will make us feel sorry and sadden our lives.
Not the mistakes we made, but the chances we had and weren't going for are dragging our souls down.
That is why Jesus said that you should go and settle your problems with other people (as well as yourself) before you pray.
“Leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:24
He knew, that all the important things that you missed doing, all the disputes you didn't settle, all the reproaches against others AND yourself, that you weren't able to dissolve are constantly capturing your mind and won't allow any moment of peace to happen and therefore, won't allow you to get into a spiritual connection with your creator.
But before you can settle anything, you need to become aware of its existence.
You need to bring it back to consciousness. You need to go through the pain of looking at it, and not letting it be suppressed into your subconscious only because you want to avoid the pain.
I know this could be tough. I know this could be painful, but I also know that, unless you are able to do so, peace of mind will flee you, and you won't be able to attain it. There is a huge difference between a state of numbed-out sorrows and peace of mind.
First, you must become aware of it. You should write it all out.
Bring it out of your mind on paper. This helps you because leaving it in your mind will allow the part of you who wants to suppress it, to pull it away from you. Having it on paper also makes it easier to dissociate yourself from it.
It is a paradox, that writing it down will make it much clearer to you, while at the same time allowing you to feel so much lighter once the soul and mind no longer need to constantly repeat it in your brain. Your brain needs to repeat those reproaches and sorrows in your head only because it wants to make sure, that you don't forget about it. Bringing it out on paper follows the same mechanism that David Allen called "Mind like Water" in his GTD methodology.
And we know this deep inside ourselves. But we try to numb ourselves from these painful feelings, these painful realizations. We try to forget them and suppress them. But our subconscious mind will never forget them. Yet trying to forget them on a conscious level always increases the heaviness of the burden for our soul.
So writing down the things you wanted to avoid is one way of keeping your awareness focused.
If you wanted to do something important for a while but hadn't done, there is a reason from your subconscious why you haven't done so. You must find out, why you haven't done, what's necessary, why you weren't able to dissolve the problem already.
I bet with those situations you had enough chances to do it, so failure to follow through shouldn't be searched in the outer world. The block, that is stopping you from dissolving your burden, is within you. And it has one single name - FEAR!
So write down "What am I afraid of that could happen, if I do the necessary steps to dissolve my burden? What consequences am I afraid of?"
Do you know where fear get's its power from? From being unclear, from being undefined, from being vague. As long as it is more a feeling inside you, a vague idea in your brain, it has power over you. This vagueness feeds your fears. But you can regain that power and control, by dragging the fear out of the darkness of your mind fog into the light of day by writing it on paper. So write the answers to the questions above down in your journal.
By writing your fears out, you can get into a dialogue with them. It is no longer a monologue in your mind, that keeps you captured but a dialogue that will allow you to see your fears clearly and dissolve them.
Negating them will only suppress them and help them to become stronger. Negating them will push them back into the fog of vagueness inside your brain. So keep them in the light of consciousness by writing them down and getting into a dialogue with them.
You should look at your fears with the eyes of a scientist. Each fear is ONE way of looking at the world. They are like hypotheses. And a hypothesis needs to be either confirmed or falsified.
So get out a paper.
On the top write down your fear
you then divide the remainder of the page by a vertical line.
On the left side, you write everything that would lead to a confirmation of the hypothesis of your fear
5. On the right side, you write down anything that would lead to a falsification of your fear.
You could have a real dialogue with your fear and find out, what it wants from you.
Your fear is no bad thing at all. Its essence is that it wants to protect you from harm.
You should acknowledge that. So the right side of the page consists of all aspects, that would like you to become aware of any potential danger ahead of you. You should acknowledge that and take it into conscious consideration.
The left side, however, shows you that although you should be aware of any dangers ahead of you, only focusing on them will keep you stuck and won't allow you to grow. You need to move out of your comfort zone and your fears to grow. The left side will show you the possibilities to do it, to grow out of your current zone of comfort.
With this scientific approach, you now have the ability to take the positive, protective aspects of your fear into consideration, while allowing yourself to not be frozen by it any longer and now making a conscious consideration to move forward.
Once you've made that scientific dialogue, you should then focus on what it would be like if you did let go of that burden and did the necessary action already. See in your mind, how it will be, once you've done it. Enjoy those good feelings.
Once you are able to release the fears that blocked you, you are then able to do the things necessary to dissolve what has been a burden for so long to you.
You should use the momentum and do it immediately if possible. If it is not possible, you should definitely schedule it and write down the FIRST step necessary towards your outcome.
And once you are able to let go of the fear and dissolve your problems with other people AND yourself, you are able to get in contact with whatever higher power you believe in. Then you are free to go to the temple of your mind and reconnect with your spiritual power as well as enjoy your life with a level of happiness you never dreamed possible before.
Warning! This article could shake your whole world upside down. It is not meant for the faint hearted. Realizing the truth that is behind this article could lead you to a level of freedom and clarity that you would not believe to be possible. Yet the way to that level could be really frightening. You don't need to be afraid though, since I will give you good advice to go through that dark route, but be warned, that this article could be dangerous for some of your most treasured belief systems.
So you think you know who you are, right? You've been around with yourself for more years than anyone else, so you should be the one to know you best.
And that might be true if you compare yourself with other people, but I am here to tell you straight to the face that you don't have a clue who you really are. In fact, you may be so far from the truth, that you were talking about some stranger, whenever you were talking about you.
Let me explain.
Our human brain functions through defining things and then comparing it to other related items. These 2 parts - Definition and Comparison - are so intertwined, that none could exist without the other.
What do I mean? If you take an object - let's say an apple - you define this object as an apple by comparing it with other objects - like oranges, dogs or cars - and recognizing the differences between these. Then you compare it with other apples, and you find what they do have in common, in comparison to oranges, dogs, and cars. Hence you are able to group things together and add a label to that definition called "apple". And you do the same with all other objects.
This concept of defining things through comparing and then labeling is so essential for our human existence, that this mere act is described in the bible as one of the first acts of Adam, where he labeled all animals with their respective name (Genesis 2:19-20).
So we already said, that the human mind can only define things through comparing it with others and then build a definition using a label by stating the differences.
So labels are shortcuts for you to remember that definition. And we take for granted, that these definitions are true. But are they true? What if you based your observations and therefore your comparison and your definition on false assumptions?
I know this is a painful thought and for sure a very frightening one. It could be so frightening, that people will do everything possible to defend their paradigms, their old beliefs. Why? Because the core function of our subconscious is to keep us from chaos, which we associate massive pain with. And not knowing who you are, could be one of the most chaotic, hence most painful realizations that you would ever face.
But the prize you could gain from passing this phase of chaos is tremendous.
You will experience a level of freedom and peace that you would not believe possible before. All the false illusions that kept you bound will drop like dead flies. And you will walk so much more lightly, happier and relaxed through this world, that your life today will feel like walking with a giant stone on your shoulder. It will be like you were Atlas, having the world on your shoulder and then someone came by and took it off of your shoulders and send you on an everlasting vacation.
Are you ready to drop the load and face the real truth?
Write down whatever you would say "I am" to. What is your name, your gender, your job description, your hobbies, your likes and dislikes, your fears, addictions, and everything that you believe adds up to what you now perceive as being you.
Example: Write down: "I am:"
a male
43
single
a smoker
poor in sports, math
afraid of spiders
weak in approaching women
etc.
"Is that really who I am? Or is it just a definition, a label I have accepted until now?"
Use doubt here creatively.
If you accepted it as a label, ask yourself, is this label, this definition beneficial for my further growth or not? Listen to your gut feeling. You know the answer deep inside. Learn to trust that intuition in your gut.
If it is not beneficial, come up with an alternative definition, that would excel your growth instead of keeping you down. Instead of "a smoker" you might call yourself "Smoking habit conqueror"; instead of "weak in approaching women" you might call yourself a "relaxed guy with women".
Say to yourself: "Up to this day I have been a ...insert your old label. From now on, I am ... insert your new label.
So you might say "Up to this day I have been a smoker. From now on, I am a Smoking Habit Conqueror"
At first, this process will feel a bit like cheating. But stick with it for at least 30 days. Refuse to accept your old definition, and although you might at first feel like a fake, repeat your new definition to yourself. After a maximum of 30 days, your subconscious has accepted the new definition as "real" and will be using this new definition on auto-pilot.
This part of you will be reborn. Then you are free to go with another redefinition.
I spoke about loving yourself as being one of the central ingredients of living your life the way you want to live it, and freeing yourself from the need to please others. I was challenged to write about how to get to that state of deep loving and accepting yourself, since there are many people who have no idea how to even start.
