Zen and the Art of Having a Date With Angelina Jolie

What would you do, if you would meet your favorite idol in a private setting? You know the one, you had a serious, hidden crush for so long. How would you approach her or him? You might have dreamt of this moment for so long, but what would happen, if that person would be right in front of you? Would you be speechless? Would you walk over and try to open a conversation? Or would you drop dead that second? No matter what, dealing with people that are out of your league is something that shows you a lot about how you live your life and how much influence you have about your own power.

Be aware, I might talk about meeting celebrities or woman, but that is not the point of this post. It is about your power and how this power might vanish while meeting some people. So hang with me, even if you are not a fan of Angelina Jolie or don’t have a hidden crush for any celebrity.

##First a Dream …
Come on – meeting Angelina Jolie has been a dream for a lot of men (including myself several years ago, when there was no Brangelina). And if it is not Angelina, you might substitute any other person you dream about meeting in your wildest dreams. Oh and by the way, if women are not your focus, then go for any male equivalent (Hello Brad). Yet if you are not into celebrities, you could also select a person that you associate lots of power with. Maybe your president? You pick for yourself.

Although this might look like a fairy tale dream, it would say a lot about you, if you ever had that situation appear in reality. For most people this situation would be equal to one of the most frightening situations in their life – public speaking. Still one of the biggest fears in today’s society.

Most people dream about meeting their idols. Yet, it is a totally different story, if your dream comes into reality. How would you behave? Are you prepared? Oh, and I don’t mean meeting someone in a well defined situation where you are the fan and he/she is the star. I mean a real one on one meeting in a private setting.

Meeting a celebrity, meeting a beautiful lady or a handsome man, meeting your boss, meeting your most important client – what do all of these have in common?

##… That Could Turn Into a Nightmare
Whenever you are confronted with these people, you suddenly feel an increase of stress and nervousness in you. How come?

You feel fear and stress, when you feel not at par with the situation, when you feel not at par with the person you meet. That could be a celebrity, a unknown, but highly attractive person or your boss.

You feel fear and stress, when you fear yourself behaving like an idiot, risking to lose your outcome.

##When I Met Angelina
I met Angelina several years ago. Well, not the real Angelina Jolie and Angelina was not even her real name, but if I had to pick an actress for her in case my life would make up a movie, I would pick Angelina Jolie for her. That‘s why I call her My Angelina. She was a stunning beauty.

At that time, I normally wouldn’t even dare to approach her (that was a long time ago, at that time I was a bit shy). But at that time I had an unbeatable advantage on my side. I was not interested in meeting any new woman. I just happened to be there. And we were in a very relaxed situation, and I was talking to her like I would talk to one of my oldest buddies (because at that time I was not interested in any outcome with her, besides having a nice evening with some nice chat). So we laughed and told us stories about strange things that happened to us. And I noticed that she was flirting with me, but I somehow wasn’t reacting to much (I even told her to stop flirting with me – of course with a smile, which she found cocky). I just enjoyed the game. So in the end, she was convinced, that I was the prize, and she wanted to have it.

I found this moment pretty interesting, because I realized, that when I felt needy or inferior I gave all the power away to other people, while in this moment, I kept my power, simply because I wasn’t attached to the outcome.

**If you are detached from the outcome, all the power is yours.**

##What Is the Difference Between Angelina Jolie and Joe Everyone?
What is the difference between Angelina Jolie, or your boss and a waiter, who‘s serving your meal?

**The difference is the outcome of the meeting, and the fear that you associate with it.**

**With Angelina**, you might have a conscious or subconscious outcome of wanting to impress her. You want to show her what an intelligent, remarkable and great guy you are. But behind that is your real outcome of maybe wanting to date her and get selected by her as Mr. Lucky.

**With your boss**, you might have a conscious or subconscious outcome of wanting to impress him. You want to show him, what a great employee you are, how much you have done for the company already. And behind this is your real outcome of wanting to get a raise or at least an approval.

**With the waiter**, your whole outcome is to get the food, and you could not care less, whether the waiter is impressed by you.

So with Angelina and your boss, you are nervous and are afraid of making any mistake. With the waiter, you are cool and relaxed.

##Meeting Angelina While Being Joe Cool – or How to Get Any Prize
So here is the proven secret to be Joe Cool while meeting any person, no matter what status that person has:

– You need to focus the goal, while at the same time being detached from it. Then you have the power of the universe behind it.
– Because if you detach yourself from the outcome, you are free from the pressure of being perfect.
– You can focus your whole being on the performance and that is where your whole focus needs to be. In the here and now.

If you are relaxed in the here and now, aware and focused on your goal, while at the same time detached from the need to achieve it, you will find many opportunities that you would not have seen, if the fear of doing it perfect would have blinded you.

If you accept every outcome you are free to perform at your best.

So you would accept as possible outcomes:

– being turned down by Angeline Jolie
– being yelled at or even fired by your boss
– being laughed at by the people that you present a speech to

If you accept these as possible and are ok with it, you then can enjoy the situation and become irresistible.

P.S. My Angelina indeed found me irresistible through this method, but unfortunately I wasn’t that much attracted towards her in the end. But that is another story.

Leave a Reply to Anastasiya Cancel reply

    • @Justin: That is surely one of the most difficult situations – but once you’ve mastered them, your working relationship comes to another level.

  1. Soon this blog will be immensely popular, and thousands of people will have read this post, and Angelina Jolie will need a lot of free time for all those dates :)

    • @Charles: I hope that Brad will the also read this article, so he will be able to keep her entertained while all those unattached, focused powerhouses are running around here lol

  2. Great points and catchy title Patrick. I agree with you about really focusing on the performance and not being attached to outcomes. People succeed including myself because we really enjoy the process. And…Great photo. Is that Flickr photo the real Angelina Jolie?

    • @Jai: Enjoying the process is surely the best way to create a state of flow – and make your dates and all other successes come much easier. And I guess that it is the real Angelina Jolie – at least it is not mine lol

  3. you are a great man. your articles have been extremely beneficial to myself. The one that spoke to my heart was : four steps to stop other from manipulating you like a puppet on a string.

    • @Edgar: Great to hear that my articles have been so beneficial to you. Keep up reading and I’ll try to help you grow even faster.

  4. Great article and I love the way you have made this sucn an entertaining read as well as educational.

    Beding detached from your desired outcome is probably one of the hardest things one can do when goal setting. We are always being told by the experts to have a specific goal and then take the actions to get it.

    The trick is to enjoy the process and the journey – and see what you become as you move towards your goal. Often the journey is far more fun that actually getting the goal.

    And if you can focus on the journey and enjoy it, knowing that whether you get the goal or not is irrelevant, then you will get your goal anyway!

    Now, where can I meet my own “Angelina” ?!

    • @Arvind: Enjoyment of the things you used to fear is the master class. When you reached that level you will master it with ease. And then Angelina might even drop Brad for you.

      Don’t give up the hope. lol

  5. I loved this article Patrick, though I am not interested in Angelina :-) I think that it is also important to realize that this “Angelina” is just a person who has no more right to judge you than you have to judge her. This is true for your boss or any other person who you feel uncomfortable with. If something does not go well then it’s not the end of the world.

    • @Anastasiya: You summarized it brilliantly. Don’t let other people judge you, or if they do, don’t except that judgment for yourself. Thank you.

  6. Well said! If you detach yourself from the outcome you are free to be yourself, and do ‘ballsy’ things you wouldn’t normally have done. Great Post, keep em’ up. This blog is fast to becoming one of the best personal development blogs on the web!