This is a series of 5 practical articles, which will teach you my method of achieving any goal in record time.
In Step 1 I told you about the importance and power of setting a vision and precisely defining a goal. I also told you that there are always 2 goals
- an external goal, which is the one you define on paper by specifying all the attributes and measurable parameters
- an internal goal, that you might also call the real or true goal. This is the reason you strive for the external goal. The emotional benefit you’ll get by achieving your goal.
It is important to understand that neither one is more important. In my experience you need both, an external goal which acts as a destination for your internal guiding or navigation system and an internal goal which besides being the ultimate goal also acts as the fuel to fill up your emotional tanks and therewith enables you to get the external goal in the first place
So let’s take a closer look at your real or internal goals … or what we further call Motivation!
Step 2: Motivation: Fueling your tank
What you need motivation for
What would happen if you knew where you want to go, you jumped into your car, turned the key, ready to go – and then nothing happened because there was no gas in your tank. To get where you want to go not only your car needs gas in its tank to get its engine working and moving, you need gas in your mental tank as well. This gas is called motivation (because it gets you moving just like a sports car with a full gas tank). Once you know where you want to go, you need to fuel your tanks with enough motivation to get through the upcoming steps and especially through the roadblocks which are labeled as problems. Missing this vital step equals running out of gas on a highway to your destination. You don’t want that to happen, so fill up your tanks with lots of motivation in advance.
There are so many people feeling a lack of motivation in their life. They wonder why they don’t achieve anything in their life. Well, it is simply because they haven’t figured out the essential answers to maybe the most important question in their life.
The most important Question: “Why do I want to do it?”
It’s been said that if you have a strong enough “Why” then coming up with a good “How” is no problem. The good thing is that using “Why” questions the way I will show you will lead you to the answers that will fuel your tank to the max.
Eliciting your motivation through continued “Why”-questioning?
Let yourself guide by the question “Why” until you get to a root emotion.
What is a root emotion? It is an emotion that you want to experience for its own sake. What do I mean? Very often you explain yourself why you want to do something with an intermediary benefit. Very often these intermediary benefits are not the real end goal but steps you think you need to do or experience in between. Very often these are phrased in avoidance terms (i.e. thinks you want to avoid).
Let’s take a look at an example.
- Let’s say your (external) goal is to lose 20 pounds.
- Then you ask yourself “Why do I want to achieve that”
- Answer: “Because I don’t want others to look at me like I am Moby Dick”
- Then you ask yourself: “Why do I want others to no longer look at me like I am Moby Dick?”
- Answer: “Because it feels uncomfortable?”
- You then ask yourself: “Why do I no longer want to feel uncomfortable?”
- Answer: “Because I feel small and vulnerable then.”
- You then ask: “Why do you want to avoid those feelings?”
- Answer: “Because I don’t want to feel that pain again.”
- You then ask: “How do you want to feel instead?”
- Answer: “I really want to feel strong and secure.”
That is the root emotion and your real, emotional goal – you want to feel strong and secure.
Tip: If you end with negative emotions you want to avoid like feeling small and vulnerable, it is often best to end the “Why” questioning with a final “How do you want to feel instead?“
Benefits – Your own and others
Second you not only want to elicit your own root or core emotion, but you should also elicit how others would benefit through you reaching your goal. Although people often think of themselves as egotistic, helping others is an ingrained and very powerful mechanism within us. If you find lots of reasons why others would benefit tremendously from you achieving your goal then that would add tremendous power into your mental tank. Trust me on this. It’s been said that Edison wrote in his journal long notes about how his invention would benefit other people. That was one of his driving forces to make him such an enormous genie. This method could do the same for you – don’t neglect it.
Power Questions for Step 2
- Why do I want to achieve this?
- How would I benefit from this?
- How would I feel once I get there?
- Who else would benefit from it? Remember that helping others is one of the biggest motivators in the world. Don’t miss it.
- How do I really want to feel? What is my real motivation at my core? Elicit your root emotions through continued “Why” questions.
UNWRAPPED: The Ultimate Guide to Get Where You Want to Go – FAST! Part 1 – Vision & Reality
UNWRAPPED: The Ultimate Guide to Get Where You Want to Go – FAST! Part 3 – Building A Map
UNWRAPPED: The Ultimate Guide to Get Where You Want to Go – FAST! Part 4 – Careful Action
UNWRAPPED: The Ultimate Guide to Get Where You Want to Go – FAST! Part 5 – Check & Adapt Your Course