UNWRAPPED: 4 Steps to Release Any Burden From Your Soul

Personal Development, Unwrapped-Series
Man with a rock

Do you sometimes feel as if a heavy weight is on your shoulder, as if a giant burden is pushing you down? Do you sometimes lie awake at night, still repeating inner conflicts and thoughts about the pressing problems in your life?

Don’t worry, you are not alone with that. This is a phase that every human being needs to get through. And it is also the reason, why we are not able to continue our development, because as long as we keep this burden of sorrow and fears on our shoulders and are not able to release it, we will feel stuck and frustrated.

But there is a solution to this dilemma, that is known for over 2,000 years, yet so little used today.

**It’s time to reveal it once again, NOW!**

##What Is the Heaviest Burden on Your Soul?
What are the things we feel sorry about? What are the things we will feel sorry on our deathbed?

Hint: It is 99.9% of the time not the things we did, but the things we didn’t do, that will make us feel sorry and sadden our lives.

**Not the mistakes we made, but the chances we had and weren’t going for are dragging our souls down.**

##How to Let Go of This Burden?
That is why Jesus said that you should go and settle your problems with other people (as well as yourself) **before** you pray.

>Leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
Matthew 5:24

He knew, that all the important things that you missed doing, all the disputes you didn’t settled, all the reproaches against others **AND** yourself, that you weren’t able to dissolve are constantly capturing your mind and won’t allow any moment of peace to happen and therefore, won’t allow you to get into a spiritual connection with your creator.

##Step 1 – Awareness of the Burden
But before you can settle anything, you need to become aware of its existence.
You need to bring it back to consciousness. You need to go through the pain of looking at it, and not letting it be suppressed into your subconscious only because you want to avoid the pain.

I know this could be tough. I know this could be painful, but I also know that, unless you are able to do so, peace of mind will flee you, and you won’t be able to attain it. There is a huge difference between a state of numbed-out sorrows and peace of mind.

**First, you must become aware of it. You should write it all out.**

Bring it out of your mind on paper. This helps you, because leaving it in your mind will allow the part of you who wants to suppress it, to pull it away from you. Having it on paper also makes it easier to dissociate yourself from it.

It is a paradox, that writing it down will make it much clearer to you, while at the same time allowing you to feel so much lighter once the soul and mind no longer needs to constantly repeat it in your brain. Your brain needs to repeat those reproaches and sorrows in your head only because it wants to make sure, that you don’t forget about it. Bringing it out on paper follows the same mechanism that David Allen called “Mind like Water” in his GTD methodology.

###The Biggest Hindrance – Numbness of the Mind
And we know this deep inside ourselves. But we try to numb ourselves from these painful feelings, these painful realizations. We try to forget them and suppress them. But our subconscious mind will never forget them. Yet trying to forget them on a conscious level always increases the heaviness of the burden for our soul.

**So writing down the things you wanted to avoid is one way of keeping your awareness focused.**

##Step 2 – What Is Stopping You from Letting Go the Burden?
If you wanted to do for something important for a while but hadn’t done, there is a reason from your subconscious why you haven’t done so. You must find out, why you haven’t done, what’s necessary, why you weren’t able to dissolve the problem already.

I bet with those situations you had enough chances to do it, so failure to follow through shouldn’t be searched in the outer world. The block, that is stopping you from dissolving your burden, is within you. And it has one single name – **FEAR**!

So write down **”What am I afraid of that could happen, if I do the necessary steps to dissolve my burden? What consequences am I afraid of?”**

###What Is Feeding Your Fears?
Do you know where fear get’s its power from? From being unclear, from being undefined, from being vague. As long as it is more a feeling inside you, a vague idea in your brain, it has power over you. This vagueness feeds your fears. But you can regain that power and control, by dragging the fear out of the darkness of your mind fog into the light of day by writing it on paper. So write the answers to the questions above down in your journal.

###Get Power over Your Fears
By writing your fears out, you can get into a dialogue with them. It is no longer a monologue in your mind, that keeps you captured but a dialogue that will allow you to see your fears clearly and dissolve them.

###Don’t Negate Your Fears
Negating them will only suppress them and help them to become stronger. Negating them will push them back into the fog of vagueness inside your brain. So keep them in the light of consciousness by writing them down and getting into a dialogue with them.

##Step 3 – Overcoming your Blocks – Dialogue With Your Fears
You should look at your fears with the eyes of a scientist. **Each fear is ONE way of looking at the world. They are like hypotheses. And a hypothesis needs to be either confirmed or falsified.**

1. So get out a paper.
2. On the top write down your fear
3. the remainder of page you divide by a vertical line.
4. On the left side, you write everything that would lead to a confirmation of the hypothesis of your fear
5. On the right side you write down anything that would lead to a falsification of your fear.

You could have a real dialogue with your fear and find out, what it wants from you. **Your fear is no bad thing at all. It’s essence is that it wants to protect you from harm.** You should acknowledge that. So the right side of the page consists of all aspects, that would like you to become aware of any potential danger ahead of you. You should acknowledge that and take it into conscious consideration.

The left side however, shows you that although you should be aware of any dangers ahead of you, only focusing on them will keep you stuck and won’t allow you to grow. You need to move out of your comfort zone and your fears to grow. The left side will show you possibilities to do it, to grow out of your current zone of comfort.

With this scientific approach, you now have the ability to take the positive, protective aspects of your fear into consideration, while allowing yourself to not be frozen by it any longer and now making a conscious consideration to move forward.

Once you’ve made that scientific dialogue, you should then focus on what it would be like if you did let go of that burden and did the necessary action already. See in your mind, how it will be, once you’ve did it. Enjoy those good feelings.

##Step 4 – Taking Action
Once you are able to release the fears that blocked you, you are then able to do the things necessary to dissolve what has been a burden for so long to you.

You should use the momentum and do it immediately if possible. If it is not possible, you should definitely schedule it and write down the FIRST step necessary towards your outcome.

And once you are able to let go of the fear and dissolve your problems with other people **AND** yourself, you are able to get in contact with whatever higher power you believe in. Then you are free to go to the temple of your mind and reconnect with your spiritual power as well as enjoy your life with a level of happiness you never dreamed possible before.

19 comments… add one
  • Dude this is one of the best posts I have read in a long, long time. Very useful, practical information here. I just recently subscribed to your blog so I have no idea if this top notch quality is the norm around here.

    This is the sort of thing that would be immensely helpful to the addiction recovery community. Much of it mirrors the processes that they already use, but I think you go a bit deeper.

    This was genuinely useful! Thanks…

    .-= ´s last blog ..Help with Addiction =-.

    • Patrick

      Patrick: Thank you very much for your kind words. If you consider this material useful for people with addictions, then I would really enjoy you sharing it with them. As you might haven’t noticed yet, my blog is uncopyrighted. That means you can use anything here in whatever way you like. Share it with other people or use it on your blog. Of course I would highly appreciate it if you link back to my site and mention me as the author. But use it in any way that you feel good about it. And tell as many people to come over :)

      I hope you feel the rest of the content here of similar quality.

      And BTW welcome on board subscriber!

      • Patrick this is an extraordinary post. I was up for an hour last night, in wee hours, in pain from something I have carried a long time. I will use the advice given here. Thank you.

        .-= ´s last blog ..Finding Oneself In India, 1982 =-.

        • Patrick

          @LPC: I hope this will indeed help you to release that painful experience and get better sleep again.

  • Thanks Patrick, you have given me a lot of food for thought here for finally tackling all the fears I have been submering for all these years:-)

    I have allocated sometime over this coming weekend for tackling these. Before then I will be allowing my awareness to bring up the fears.

    Time to let go….

    .-= ´s last blog ..What Will it Take for More of You to Show Up? =-.

    • Patrick

      Arvind, it’s great that you take the necessary time to tackle those aspects. Fo for it, and tell me what you’ve experienced.

  • Aaa… fear mastery, one of my favorite topics. I particularly like the Dialogue With Your Fears exercise here. I usually use techniques that are based on challenging your thinking patterns and internal dialog to overcome fears, and I find them to be the most useful.


    .-= ´s last blog ..Personal development readers vs. personal development doers =-.

    • Patrick

      Eduard, challenging your thinking patterns and using internal dialogue for your benefit (rather than letting it be a nagging subliminal voice inside your head) are also excellent ways to deal with your fears.

      There are several ways and it is in our own responsibility to find the ones suited for us.

  • A lot of wisdom here, Patrick, and a great model that people can actually use. I really like your evidence-based way of dealing with fear. I might suggest going even further with the dialogue. I have found it very helpful to ask the fear what it needs (which is almost always love), then find the most loving place in me to embrace the fear. My experience is that fear is just like a little, scared child that needs to be seen, acknowledged, and loved. When I do this every time the fear arises, it eventually becomes less powerful, giving me more freedom and flexibility to take action. BTW, love your posts!!

    • Patrick

      Gail, that is again a very great addition to my model. Bringing in love and a feeling of security, comfort and trust are also very well suited when dealing with fear. Excellent feedback. Thanks for sharing.

  • Hi Patrick, first time on your blog, I loved this post. I am a big believer in the power of our subconscious. If we are not aware, we literally live on autopilot completely controlled by it. If there are lots of limitating beliefs (fears) sitting in our subconscious it will sabotage us no matter how hard we try to accomplish what we want. Only by consciosuly taking those fears out, by becoming conscious about them can we let them go. I love the process you outlined here, I’ll definitely try it. Thank you!

    .-= ´s last blog ..How To Stop Making Decisions Based On Fear =-.

    • Patrick

      Lana, welcome here. I hope you’ll find much of the content as helpful as this one. Unwrapping our fears from our minds is maybe the essential task we have – and what we experience is that fears are always false perceptions of what then can develop into love. Give me a note, how this process worked for you.

  • Thank you! I would now go on this blog every day!

  • Mary

    Dear Patrick, I enjoyed your post, and I found it very eye-opening. However, I need your help to lay out my chart. I had no problem writing down my fears, but I can not get clear with dividing the left and right section. I have been hurt physically and emotionally by my brother. I came to the U.S 14 years ago. I fear to be close to my brother anywhere, and that stops me from helping him to come to the United States.at the same time, I fear that I will be judged as a heartless, selfish sister who has abandoned her only brother, and not being able to forgive, and forget. Any suggestion?
    I would like to mention that I can control the fearful thoughts for a limited time during a meditative practice, but i wake up every night from the feeling of choking.
    Many thanks

    • Patrick

      Hi Mary, for this step you pick one fear for each sheet of paper. On the left side you write down anything that if it would happen or has happened recently would prove that your fear is still valid. And on the right side you write down everything that comes to your mind that proves that your fear is not based on reality any longer. Let me take your situation as an example:
      Fear: I am afraid that my brother will hurt me physically and or emotionally (Note that fear is always in the now – you are afraid that it will happen again in the now or in the future!)
      Left Side: He has beat me when I was xx years old; he has hurt me several times in the past, etc.
      Right Side: He has changed and has become a more loving man, I am now able to stand up for myself not being around my family, etc.

      Note that since your reaction to him is quite real (choking) there is nothing wrong with your fear and you wanting him to stay far away. If you still think that he could be dangerous to you in the now, then the fear and you have all the right in the world to not help him endanger you again. You can still forgive him in your heart, but you don’t have to forget the things he did. So if you don’t think he has changed, you might stay away from him.

      So if your left side still outweighs the right side – maybe your fear still has its validation in the now to keep you safe. To be afraid to being judged by others. Try to explain to them that your behavior isn’t selfish but that you don’t feel safe around him.

      • Mary

        Thank you so much Patrick, this is helping me tremendously!

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