Stuff just happens in relationships and staying in good communication is the only way to sort things out.

Yet still most stuff that bothers us in our partner has more to do with ourselves, with our own unresolved issues than with the other person. But we shouldn’t blame ourselves for this. Should take responsibility.

I think there is a big difference between blaming ourselves for the things that happens and taking responsibility for our own interpretations of thinks that bother us.

So I think communication is THE essential tool – communication with our partner but also with our self.

The best relationships are the ones that cause us to expand instead of contracting. We form these relationship models in childhood and bring them with us to every new relationship that we experience.

My girlfriend, Shaheera, really agrees with your point of “mirror characteristics”. She points out positive similarities of her father’s and mine…:) fuhhhh…what a relief! Happy!

I consider this as a very deep article but very inspiring and motivating. To be honest, it’s kind of hard for me to digest the information by only reading it once that I need to reread it twice. However, the result is awesome. I feel so excited to do the exercises suggested in here with my girlfriend and feel so relieved when got the chance to learn & know the root cause to problems in relationships.

The keywords here is to have courage and honesty to utter and discuss further of the things you & your partner need and want in your relationship.

We plan to do the exercises and share the outcomes with you soon, here. Thank you for sharing information and better relationship methods with us. Keep up good job! Cheers!

Tariq n Shaheera

You and I are responsible for where we are. You and I are responsible for where we are to go.

And you and I must take responsibility for all our actions if we are ever to grow and go where we need to go, in order to fulfill our destiny and reach our potential.

For when you blame you empower those or what you blame. And that weakens you. You are suddenly the victim and not the victor.

Problems are for solving and responsibility leads to opportunity. Empathy demands responsibility and rather than being detached you can now suddenly become engaged. Rather than life happening to you, you will happen to life.

When I am responsible I am empowered, I am charged and I am positioned for great success.

And in every family situation there is a huge lesson to learn – for you this might be to realize that there is no one else responsible for your experience either. Your mother and your sister can’t blackmail you – they can only speak words or do thinks that you decide to interpret in that way. You decide on feeling blackmailed or not loved anymore. Indeed there is a big fear behind that of loss and a feeling of not being enough for yourself. You want to be acknowledged for your career success by your family – but that would only be a compensation for what you really want – a total expression of deep love. And since you are craving for that love, this might be a hint that you yourself have not enough love for yourself (as most of us lack of, don’t feel bad for this lack either).

Get clear (best by writing a journal) how many things are there that are to love about you. Define for the next 30 days all the aspects of yourself that make you a person that is worthy of unconditional love. And once you found this for yourself, you might not need it from your mother and sisters any more. Then you are free to express your love for them unconditional of them paying you back. And this is mostly the time, when they are able to drop their own walls and send it back to you. Again the keyword here is unconditional. If (and only if) you can love and accept yourself unconditionally then you are free to give that to others (and the universe can send it to you).

Start with the journal and add every day something new that makes you a love-able person.