This is a follow up to my last article Release Your Fear of Scarcity. I had so many positive reactions to this article and had so much feedback from people, who felt this article had touched their lives just at the right time, that in this article I want to tell you a personal story of mine, that taught me one of the biggest lessons of life – when I was in a situation, that was out of my control, full of rage and fighting against a situation that I didn’t wanted to accept, life taught me the power of letting go my wants and accepting my responsibilities.
A Story of Victimhood, Anger, Rage and Lawyers
Several years ago, my then girlfriend and I made a decision to move into a nice apartement. Since we both were singles, we had a lot of stuff that came together. Actually, I was the one with the massive amount of stuff. So I made a decision to move into a big apartment. We were looking for more than 8 weeks and were pretty tired that weekend after seeing at least 6 apartments that wouldn’t fit our expectations.
So we came late evening to a house, where the last apartment of that day’s schedule was. We went into it, and it was good. 2 floors left enough space for living and my business. The lighting was great, it looked perfect and the owner was very friendly. My girlfriend was so tired of the search, that she wanted me to sign the papers that day, and so I did.
Just one week after signing the contract, we returned to the apartment and were shocked. It was the first time we saw the apartment at daylight, and we realized, we made a terrible mistake. We looked behind some furniture that the owner had positioned and saw rotten wood and rundown windows, the carpet was ruined at several places. And in some places we could smell it – mold. My girlfriend cried and said she absolutely don’t wants to move into this house.
I immediately went to the owner and attacked him for tricking us with lightning and not showing us the poor quality of the apartment. I told him, that I want to rescind the contract and am not willing to move into the apartment. He of course referred to the validity of the contract and told me, that I had to pay at least the security and the minimum of 3-month rent. Since we needed to reverse the abrogation for our other apartments, we were talking about 3 months of double rent for each of us. We were talking about $12,000 in total.
At that time, that was a huge amount of money to me, I had no backup cash, and I wasn’t sure of how to come up with it. So I went to a lawyer, because I wanted to fight the bastard who tricked me. My lawyer told me, that my chances were few, because the law was on his side, and I had no proof of being tricked. This was about 4 weeks before I had to pay. Another 2 weeks went by with harsh letters from my lawyer and the lawyers of the owner of the apartment.
I couldn’t sleep at that time and I was in constant rage, until I finally made a decision. I saw that this was a situation, that wasn’t under my control anymore. I felt like a victim, tricked and abused, but it seemed like there was nothing I could do about it. I lost my appetite, my sleep and my mood was very depressed. My relationship wasn’t that great either.
How I Changed My Experience
One Sunday night 2 weeks before the payment, I was alone, and I made a decision. I would stop worrying. I would stop being a victim. And I would stop putting my focus on this bad situation. What did I do?
On the outer world:
- I faxed a letter to my lawyer, to stop any further attempts and don’t do any further thing in this affair.
- I faxed another letter to my banker, describing the situation and asking to increase my credit line for 6 months, so I could do the payments.
But more importantly on the inner world:
- I sat down and prayed (now I am a Christian, but whatever religion you have or even if you’re an atheist, you could adopt this to your God or beliefs)
- I prayed: “Lord, I am in a situation, that I can’t control. I don’t want this to happen, but it is not about what I want. Thy will be done. Whatever will happen, I will accept it, and I will accept my responsibilities.“
- I put all the anger and worry I had in a ball of white light and let it dissolve into the universe.
- I repeated: “Thy will be done. Whatever will be, I will accept.“
- I then stood up and turned my mind totally away from the situation. Being okay with whatever would happen.
What happened then?
- The next day, my banker told me, that my credit limit was extended.
- Two days after it, I had a call from someone I hadn’t spoken for years. He offered me a very profitable project, that would give me much more money than I would need to regain my financial stability. I needed to start working on it immediately.
- From that on, I was so busy working, that I never checked my bank account for 6 weeks straight.
- When I looked at it, I was flabbergasted. The money for the apartment & security wasn’t drawn. It was all there.
- I watched the account the next weeks, but the money was never touched by the owner of the apartment. I never found out why he didn’t do it. Maybe he found another person that took the apartment, but I don’t know.
All I knew was that I send a big “Thank you” to the universal force (that I call God).
- I didn’t bargain with the universe (or God). I was really willing to accept anything that would happen.
- I was really willing to accept my full responsibility for anything that I had done.
- I used it in a situation, where I couldn’t change anything. I followed the quote of Reinhold Niebuhr: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
- I really turned my mind away from the negative thinking about the situation. I was alright with whatever happened. I really let go of the fear.
Although I was okay with the situation after the prayer, it is still something that puts me in awe even after all of these years. I have seen this work so well in other situations as well.
The hard part (and the one that makes it so effective) is, that you really only gain that level of peace within (that would allow the universe to work its wonders) once you are really willing to accept anything that happens and stop trying to bargain with the universe.