Focus or How to Be Strong, Sexy & Smart in 60 Seconds

Personal Development
Man with brain

If there would be a tool, that could enable you to become stronger, smarter, happier and at the same time sexier than you are now, how much would you pay for it? If I could give you this as a drug or inject it into you, I could make billions with this, but – sorry for my bank account – you have this tool already build in. However, no one told you before and there is no build in manual for it.

But rest assured, your good old friend Patrick is going to help you out. I’ll give you the user manual for that tool – and if I ever come knocking on your door, remember this gentle move of mine.

The tool I am talking about is your ability to focus your mind. And mastering it sounds hard, but it could be easily done with some simple tips.

So follow me through my billion-bucks-worth description in this article.

What Is Focus?

A good place to go for the real meaning of a word is WordNetSearch. There you will find many definitions, but for our sake they all come down to this:

Focus is about centering your attention on one point, therewith increasing sharpness and clarity.

Power Follows Focus.

Since you bundle your otherwise scattered attention on one point, all your mental powers are also bundled together on this one point. My core belief is, that we do have an enormous power within us. But most of this power gets diminished through scattered minds and constant fear of whatever might happen to us.

My belief is, that the amount of your mental power is in reverse correlation to the number of points of attention.

If you think of 20 things at the same time and have nagging voices of doubt and fear in your head running, even the strongest power will be diminished.

How to Direct Your Focus?

Because there are 2 areas of input to your mind, there are also two areas to deal with when you want to change your focus.

1. The Outer World

The focus here is on minimizing distractions that are coming from the outer world. The big keywords here are Uncluttering and Simple Lifestyle. An excellent source for more information about this is one of my favorite websites zenhabits.net. Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net is in the process of writing a whole book about the art of focusing called Focus Manifesto. You can read his first chapters in a beta version online. I highly recommend this evolving book (which is not focusing only on the outer world) as well as his website to complement this article.

The outer world is an important part in regaining your focusing skills. Minimize distractions as good as possible.

2. The Inner World

This is where the focus of this article is. Why? Do you remember being a child and getting that fantastic toy on christmas? That toy that fascinated you so much, that you were so absorbed by the toy and playing with it, that you forgot everything around you? Even the loud adults around you? It is that state of fascination and curiosity that allows us to be drawn to an object of focus with such magnetic power, that distractions lose all their power over us.

That state of fascination and curiosity is the key to really mastering the Art of Focusing.

To understand how our mind gets into this state of fascination and curiosity, we have to dive into, how our mind evaluates all information it gets.

Your mind is constantly trying to evaluate the internal and external situation.

It is constantly trying to make sense of all the input that it gets from your outer and inner world. This evaluation in the mind takes place in the form of questions and answers. These Q&A’s might be conscious or subconscious.

  • How is this thing in comparison with that thing?
  • How is this sensation compared to my normal sensation?
  • What can this be useful for?
  • Is this dangerous to me?
  • Could this be pleasurable?

Very often these questions will lead to comparisons.

2 Driving Forces of Your Minds Evaluation

There are 2 big forces that shape your questions:

  • Curiosity
  • Fear

Curiosity will often manifest itself in “How to” questions. Curiosity wants you to grow and enjoy the process of finding out the answer.

Fear, on the other hand, links pain with any change and therefore, the focus of fear is to keep you in the status quo and not change a thing. If there is a tiger coming at you, your fear might give you good advice to run. If you are about to start a new business and the fear stops you from doing it and stay in your comfort zone, it might give you a disfavor.

2 Types of Questions

It’s been said that there are no dumb questions (okay – I admit some people do ask dumb questions), but there are definitely good and bad questions.

What is the difference?

1. Good Questions Will Send You to Resourceful Answers

A good question often begins with “How can I … ?”. It is driven by curiosity and will lead you to an answer that inspires you, empowers you, makes you grow and become happier. Some really great questions you should ask yourself each day are:

  • “What is fascinating about the current task at hand?”
  • “How can I enjoy my life today even more?”
  • “How can I make this task more enjoyable?”
  • “How can I express my love even better?”
  • “Where can I look for further improvements?”
  • “How can I increase my happiness, strength & vitality today?”
  • “What qualities am I willing to express as a shining example today?”
  • “What would it be like, if I had already achieved my goal?”

2. Bad Questions Will Send You to Unresourceful Answers

A bad question often begins with “Why do I …?”. It is driven by fear, and its only purpose is to disempower you and keep you in the status quo. Bad questions that you should stay away from are:

  • “Why is this always happening to me?”
  • “What’s the use of this, anyway?” Hint: You are not looking for the right answer here.
  • “Why do I have to do this boring thing?”

The “Why” question is in this context an agonizing question, wanting you to come up with an answer that depresses you even more.

The Power of Questions

I am a big believer in questions. I’d rather throw at you a bunch of questions, and let you come up with your own answers, than pushing my answers into your system and weaken your own curiosity mechanism with that.

If you stay open to a question and don’t let your inner critique shut down any attempts early on with negative statements and bad questions, you can find your own answer to nearly any question you have. And finding out for yourself will have many positive side benefits. You’ll experience much more joy and growth through it.

The Power of Future Anticipation

I have given you a very strong power with one of the above mentioned questions.

“What would it be like, if I had already achieved my goal?”

This question includes a turbo charger. It anticipates the future and makes you think like you’ve already achieved something and therefore, enables you to find your way through anticipated hindsight. To this you could add even more detail through some “How would I ….” questions, defining how you experience the situation through your senses, etc.

You follow up this question with an even more powerful question:

“What steps would have led me to this state?”

Through your imagined jump into the future, you can see clearly what steps you need to take to get to that desired state.

How to Be Strong, Sexy & Smart in 60 Seconds

Now you know the Secret to becoming strong, sexy and smart in 60 seconds.

You ask yourself:

“What would it be like, if I was already strong, sexy & smart?”

Dive into this question with even more questions asking for details.

  • How would I stand?
  • How would I breathe?
  • How would I walk?
  • What pictures would I make up in my mind?
  • What would I look like?
  • How would I feel inside?
  • What would I do?
  • How would I talk (to others and myself)?
  • and even more.

And you should notice that most of the answers to these questions could be turned into reality right away.

  • Change your position
  • Change your breathing
  • Change your inner pictures
  • Talk to yourself and others like you would if you were strong, sexy and smart
  • and so on.

Then follow up with the next Power Question:

“What steps would have led me to this change?”

Take a note what other steps you need to do, to get to it. For instance you could:

  • join a gym
  • take classes for acting or public speaking

Come up with your own answers and then just do it!

Enjoy being strong, sexy and smart already on the way.

And by the way – if the process took you more than 60 seconds – don’t worry you will speed up with time, and it will be so pleasurable doing it anyway, that at least it will feel like 60 seconds. Right?


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10 comments… add one
  • The power of not just focus, but of self-examination makes a world of difference.

    • Patrick

      @JS Dixon: I think focus is the basis for any self-examination, since focusing allows you to neglect all distractions of the outer and inner world (especially some of the inner nagging voices) to allow yourself to become clear about your true core self. I totally agree Self Examination and from that Self Development (or what I called here Unwrapping) is essential to growth. Good point JS.

  • I laughed when I saw that stock photo, because my first thought was ‘well, one out of three ain’t bad for this guy’.

    I like the part about the questions, because all too often I read only answers on these personal development sites. For me, it’s about the questions. Your answer will not always (or ever) be my answer. But the questions remain the same.

    Also, it truly is about posturing. I’ve focused on projecting the image I want to achieve, and people treat me differently. It’s amazing.

    • Patrick

      @Jeffrey: Making you laugh is a good start for a blog picture πŸ™‚

      Your answers will definitely be different from mine, that is why your path is different. And that is a good thing. I truly believe that giving pre-defined answers weakens the growth of any man, while challenging him with questions allow him to become stronger through finding his own answers and therewith his own path and destiny.

  • Patrick, i can’t agree more on good questions versus bad questions. In the end of the day, it’s all a matter of asking the right question, because right questions improve us. Bad question dumb us from improving ourselves and eventually put a halt in our progress.

    • Patrick

      @Karlil: That is a good summary of the power of questions. Keep on asking yourself good questions and finding your own answers.

  • Patrick, this is my first “jump” to your blog, and I’m delighted with what I find.

    Great post. Thankyou. Your layout, formatting and quality of information (that includes many specific examples) are excellent.

    You set a very high standard. Well done.

    Best, Robin

    • Patrick

      @Robin: Thanks. I appreciate your comments. I hope to continue delivering this quality and would be glad to see you again.

      BTW I can give the compliments back to your site too.

  • Narrowing focus in life is one of the best things you can do to be your best self and to achieve everything you want. Asking yourself simple questions is the best way to find that focus. I guess many people do not even know who they want to be that is why they cannot figure out how to get there πŸ™‚
    Thanks for your post, Patrick. I am looking forward to the art of No Fu πŸ™‚

    • Patrick

      @Anastasiya: You are right, unless you have a direction that you want to go to, you are stuck where you are right now or you are victim of any chance happening to you.

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