Comments on: Don’t Take Your Goals too Seriously

By: Patrick

Patrick — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 22:34:24 +0000

Madeleine, I am not sure, whether there is such a thing as an ultimate goal – neither in work nor in relationship. Especially in relationships I wouldn’t call my old partners not fitting the description life partner – I guess it was time to meet and there is a time to separate our paths. And it is the same with goals. I would say if there is such a thing as a universal goal then it is growth and development, but anything else is a means (however nice or long lasting) to this end.

By: Madeleine

Madeleine — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 17:10:13 +0000

Patrick, That was a great personal story about deciding not to pursue your studies of medicine when the requirements changed. It’s true that clinging to your goals no matter what can be bad for you. At the same time your point about not being a slacker is essential. It reminds me of a book by the often-maligned Dr. Phillip McGraw about life strategies. He discusses basic life goals, such as finding your life’s work, finding your life partner, and so on. Perhaps those are the universal goals, and our personal goals need to be re-assessed from time to time.

´s last blog ..Leaving Seattle, Heading East

By: Patrick

Patrick — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:05:00 +0000

Arvind, I can relate to that. I've been there too. It had led me to a time, where I was working 115 hours a week, literally sleeping and showering in the office. Thank god, these days have gone, before they could lead to any serious damage in health and social life.

It needed a real mind shift and unwrapping for myself, to get out of that treadmill of goal-fanatism.

By: Arvind Devalia

Arvind Devalia — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 13:47:19 +0000

Patrick, a great post for someone like me who is very driven and continues to set stretching goals!

I used to be fanatical about setting really tight goals such as when I got my first book written and printed within 4 weeks!

That approach has worked for me in the past, but at the cost of my health and loss of a social life.

Now as per what you suggest, I am very kind to myself and though I still set goals for myself they are more realistic – and more fun:-)

Your post reminded of the saying that life is a journey and not a destination. As Patty, said – set the goal and forget about it. Just see what unfolds – or “unwraps”!

´s last blog ..How to Make your Own Luck, Even on Friday the 13th!

By: Patrick

Patrick — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:19:57 +0000

Patty, I like “Set the goal and then forget about it” – it puts my idea of going for the stars with an unattached mind, where you’ll land into a great statement of power. And like you, I’ve seen the same thing happen to my goals. They were springboards to start (and that is their important part), but their meaning might change along the journey. Thanks for sharing.

By: Patrick

Patrick — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 08:09:15 +0000

Eduard, yes there need to be balance. While there is much power in boldness and shooting for the stars is important, there is also a flip side to it. If you define yourself through it, you risk your self worth when not achieving them. Then this turns from motivation into pure stress and it might even turn into fear and paralysis. So make your dreams big but at the same time disattach yourself from them. Sounds like a paradox but its necessary to remain mentally healthy.

By: Patty - Why Not Start Now?

Patty - Why Not Start Now? — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 08:07:41 +0000

This is such an important point you’re making. Goals are good, yes, but sometimes they can feel a little like prison. I used to tell myself to “set the goal and then forget the goal.” Wouldn’t work for everyone, but it did for me. It allowed me to let the fullness of the goal reveal itself to me, and be open to where it wanted to take me. And often that was much larger than the original goal. I recently found a list I wrote ten years ago, with one and five year goals. Some were accomplished, many weren’t. And that was okay, because of the other things I accomplished during that time that I didn’t even have a glimmer about when I wrote the list.

´s last blog ..A Large State of Fear

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Sun, 15 Nov 2009 22:52:21 +0000

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By: Ideas With A Kick

Ideas With A Kick — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 19:58:49 +0000

Great idea to write a post about this! We all need to be remembered that we are not a to do list, and our value as human beings is not strictly determined by how much we achieve. And anyway, I find that some people set way to bold expectations for themselves. It may be a good way to become motivated, but it doesn’t mean if you don’t achieve all of them , it’s a tragedy.

Eduard

´s last blog ..Q: How do I look? A: Like everybody else