Comments on: Do You Really Know Who You Are?

By: Patrick

Patrick — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 18:27:04 +0000

@Karlil: But shortcomings could also be a mislabeling for yourself. Who told you, that it is a shortcoming in the first place? Example: You might think of "being lazy" as a shortcoming, but that "being lazy" has a function in your life. So you could work on it (i.e. become more productive by several ways) or take a look, why you labeled yourself that way. Maybe you aren't lazy, but lazy behavior was just one way from you unconscious of showing you, what you don't want to do. Are you lazy with things, that you are passionate about?

So be careful with defining your "shortcomings". They might actually be your "strengths".

By: Patrick

Patrick — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 18:17:02 +0000

@bethvw: That is a great way of using this technique. Indeed drawing can focus you on what is really there, and you can make a conscious decision, what you want to draw from then, since by definition you as an artist define through your strokes the qualities of the object you see. For you drawing yourself (self-portrait) could also be a viable option to detect definitions you might not be aware before, since your drawing reveals more of how you perceive yourself than a photo or a self-describtion.

By: Karlil

Karlil — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 14:14:27 +0000

Beautiful post Patrick. The act of writing down self labeling and truly question oneself works great for those who never pay attention to who they end up being. Once we realized our shortcomings, only then can we work on improving it. Before finding a solution for a problem, you must first identify the problem.

By: bethvw

bethvw — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 13:14:13 +0000

I also love the image leading your post!

By: bethvw

bethvw — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 13:13:35 +0000

Hi Patrick, This article is refreshingly clear and a valuable reminder. I often find myself pausing to reevaluate my perception of who I am when there is inconsistency between who I want to be and who I am now. As you describe, words are just labels, but the way we personally define them is what really directs us. In fact, as an artist, I come across this daily in my observational drawings. Drawings are made by remembering the direction and quality of what you are looking at and deciding where and how to place it on the paper. If I make marks based on assumptions and generalizations, which is easier and faster, rather than consciously focusing on what I observe, the drawing loses some of its veracity and strength. So my drawing practice reminds me daily, that I need to carefully review the direction and quality of who I am in order to live the life I aspire to. Your post reminded me of the truth that the drawing practice makes visible. I will re-evaluate one of my personal definitions and give it a 30 day run. Great post, Patrick! I will redefine one aspect of my life and “act as if” for the next 30 days. My drawing practice will remind me each day to

By: Patrick

Patrick — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 19:22:26 +0000

@Charley Forness: The concept of starting with the end in mind and then working your way backwards along the steps you need to take to get there is an old concept, although I haven't heard of Robert Fritz. I know it as an old time (but very efficient) management technique, that was as far as I've heard even used during WW2 by some generals.

I suggest 30 day just as a point to get you going into the direction of forming a habit. There will however come a time, where you will naturally feel, that the old habit has lost its power over you completely (and that could be well before the 30 days ending) and you only have to focus on the positive reframed part of the definition. That's when your belief about your identity changed from someone who is struggling to build something new (i.e. "I am a Smoking-Habit-Conqueror") to a relaxed knowing about your new identity (i.e. like your suggestion "I am a healthy individual in body, mind and soul").

This goes along with the 4 Steps of Consciousness. Once you've reached unconscious competence, you don't have to focus on repeating it any longer. Then I would focus on another area you would like to change.

By: Charley Forness

Charley Forness — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 18:15:58 +0000

Hi Patrick,

Terrific article, as usual. I, for one, would be interested in a subsequent article that talks about the next phase. After 30 days, I wouldn't want to continue to say, "up to this day I have been a smoker..." Thirty days is a good period to make a transition completely to the newly formulated definitions. In the smoking example, it is no longer a definition having anything to do with smoking. Rather it is more along the lines of "I am a healthy individual in body, mind and soul."

I'm quite fond of structural tension charts, as first proposed by author Robert Fritz. Both parts of the smoking affirmation contain two opposite ends of a spectrum. If you placed the new positive affirmation at the top of a sheet of paper, and the old one at the bottom...you can then work yourself backwards with each step to take you from one to the other. I highly suggest checking out Fritz's The Path Of Least Resistance. It's a complicated read, but well worth the effort in my opinion. It was always part of my treasured library but seems to have been misplaced in my most recent house move.

Warm Regards,

Charley

By: Patrick

Patrick — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 09:01:25 +0000

@Nicolas: You are right, if we could stop defining we would elevate our experience into the omnipresent “am”, that means becoming one with everything. While I agree that this enlightened state is on some level desirable, I don’t think that it (for most of us) is easy to achieve and desirable in the first place. I truly believe that our mind was purposefully designed to be a defining machine. Because through the definition we become a creator. Yes we create the things we define. Quantum physics has stated that already. We define our world by observing and defining it. Particles indeed change to our definition. Therefore, although definition is an illusion, it is an illusion we should use to experience our powers and – maybe at the end of it, experience omnipotence. But I think that a conscious act of stopping to define is a bit unnatural and not even wanted by nature.

By: Nicolas

Nicolas — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 08:36:22 +0000

Hey Patrick,

We can surely redefine ourselves as you propose it in this post, but what about stopping to define. "I am", "I" being truly undefinable, there is only "am" left.

All the best, Nicolas

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